Hello, my name
is Phil, and Im an addict! Thank You, Mr. Gates, on behalf of the
millions of Americans who will never be the same as they once were
prior to their first encounter with the diabolical Microsoft Windows
solitaire game Freecell.
Department of Defense and local law enforcement take action in
Columbia, as well as in Columbus, to root out the titans and little
people in the drug wars, millions of new addicts to another
substance are being added annually. More and more people give up the
precious moments of their lives attached to their personal computers
moving playing cards around in mindless rhythm in their 73rd game of
Freecell that day.
sudden withdrawal trauma, which would strike the nation if an enemy
were to strike at Americas real favorite pastime and cripple
Freecell software all over the country with a computer virus.
Americas workforce would be in agony. Unions around the country
would threaten job actions over the fact that employers would be
expecting the newly available millions of hours in the work place to
actually be used for productive work.
The HR Doctor
offers a few basic thoughts that might help. I do this in the form
of being labeled as a Freecell whistleblower hoping for some
protection under federal and state law from the wrath of the
Freecell Mafioso! Its OK to play in occasional brief spurts as long
as a therapist or counselor is in the room with you. Play in the
middle of the night. Play early in the morning before others in the
house wake up. Play, in other words, at times when your
communications with other humans will not be adversely affected. For
example, during boring moments in county commission meetings. Only
subject of losing oneself in Freecell or any other absorbing pastime
is worthy of consideration in the work life and personal life of
every one of us. Hobbies, passions, etc. are not valuable to our
health and our interpersonal relationships when they become all
consuming. Whether it is Freecell or TV watching, the main danger is
losing touch with our families and colleagues.
Only later will
we realize how much more productive our use of precious life hours
could have been. It may well be too late by then to do what we
should have been doing instead of playing the game. So, with another
apology to Alcoholics Anonymous, begin your new life with less
Freecell by focusing on one day at a time.